Category: jughead jones

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Archie: If Kirby absorbed you, what power would he get?

Jughead: Depression

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*about Betty*

Jughead: So, you think she’s the girl for me?

Kevin: Oh, yeah. She’s tons of fun, and you’re no fun at all. She completes you.

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Jughead: Promise me something, Archie. Never breed.

Archie: I’ll try. 

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Betty: Okay guys! If you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Jughead:
I’d be a tomato because no one accepts me as part of the group.

Betty:
…Creative! Okay, who’s next?

Regular

Archie: Why are you looking at me like this is my fault?

Jughead: Because it is your fault.

Archie: Yeah, you’re probably right. 

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Jughead: Are you drunk?

Archie:
I don’t know, Mom, am I?

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that SNL skit was still better written than an actual episode