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Jellybean: What if I pour coffee in my cereal instead of milk? 

Jughead, taking the coffee pot as he walks by: What if you didn’t. 


Agatha: Die, pig!

Harvey: Hold on, let me ask my girlfriend.

Dorcas: this isn’t-

Harvey: She said no.


Penelope: Isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other human beings?

Alice: Are you talking about prostitution, the movies, or airplane tickets?

Penelope: … glasses


FP: Good night. Sleep tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Tonight. Imma fight. Till we see the sunlight. Tik Tok. On the clock. But the party don’t stop.

Alice: Please behave like an adult for once.


Sabrina: What are your strengths?

Harvey: I fall in love easily.

Sabrina: Erm, okay… and what are your weaknesses?

Harvey: Those beautiful eyes of yours.


Kevin: Did you hear that? It sounded like… despair. 

Jughead: It’s probably me.

Kevin: No, no, not bitterness. Despair.


Reggie: Sometimes I go “damn I love that bitch” and that bitch is always Archie Andrews.

Archie: Thanks?


Betty: I know this is random but Dom or Sub? 

Jughead: I guess Domino’s. I don’t go to Subway that much. Don’t see why you’d put them in the same category.                    


Toni: I’m not gay but you look fucking hot in that dress. Cheryl.

Cheryl: We’re married, TT.


Sweet Pea: So you remember the plan if I ever die in front of you, right?

Toni & Fangs: Of course.

Sweet Pea: Tell me, then.

In the case of you dying, as you fall to the ground, we are to sing MMMMM WHATCHA SAY-

no matter the circumstances

Sweet Pea: Good